The Journey Begins

Welcome to my journey! Here's a little about my and where I'm coming from.

I've been fat most of my life, probably since around puberty. I was sometimes chunky, sometimes big and sometimes full on killer whale.

First Grade, Middle School, Freshman in High School

My mom was a teacher and would drop me off at my grandma's house in the morning and pick me up after work in the afternoon. Grandma and I were pals. She would make me yummy breakfast and snacks every day. Cinnamon toast (with sprinkles, of course), doughnuts, cake, cookies, macaroni and cheese, and whatever delicious treats I wanted. Grandmas are there to spoil and mine was no exception.

My weight fluctuated in middle school and high school. I was always going on diets with my mom. We went to Weight Watchers meetings together. We bought Richard Simmons' Food Mover (but we never used it... hid it from my dad so he didn't know how much money we spent on it.) We tried various exercise routines and gyms. Nothing really stuck, but at least we were in it together.

I was probably the most fit I ever was in high school during marching band season. I got lots of exercise, though I was still bigger than the other girls. Looking back on those pictures now, I was one hot mama, but I never felt that way.

Senior in High School, Freshman in College, Graduating College

It wasn't until I was in college that my weight really exploded. My brother got married when I was a freshman and I went on a low-carb diet and lost 20 pounds to fit into my bridesmaid dress. Even then, they had to call around to all the different Dillard's stores to find a skirt that would fit me... a size 16 at the time. After the wedding, I kept up my diet for a few more months, eventually getting down into a size 12, or a size 10 if I really really sucked it in. I felt fantastic and I looked even better. But... I couldn't maintain it. I ballooned back up to a size 26 in a year or two. There was one summer where I was able to lose about 70 pounds by cutting my portions in half and not drinking soda, but again, I couldn't maintain it and I gained all the weight back. By the time I graduated college, I was probably a size 24.

Post College - 2011, 2013, 2014

Then the real world came. I started working my first job, where I still am today. I'm a graphic designer. Sounds fun, but I sit in front of a computer all. day. long. At least in college I would walk to class and walk all around campus for work. Not anymore. (My one victory during this time, though, has been that I quit drinking soda completely. It's now been 18 month since I've had one. I'll have some occasional juice or lemonade, but that's very very very rare. I drink more water now than I ever have and it feels great. It's proved to me that I can stick to something and be successful!)

I got married a year ago. My wedding photos make me sad. I had to have my dress specially made, because I'm too large for normal dresses. I didn't go to any bridal stores to try on dresses because I was too embarrassed at how big I am. It was not all it should have been. The ceremony and reception was beautiful, but I didn't feel beautiful like a bride should be. 

I am now at my heaviest weight and size... 352 pounds and a size 28. I'm not quite sure how I got to this point in my life, but it's time to change for good. It's time to leave it all behind and start fresh.

On Wednesday, September 30, 2015, I had my first consultation with Dr. Duc Vuong for Gastric Sleeve surgery. He seems like a great guy, very dedicated to his patients and very optimistic and upbeat. He's all about empowering his patients and helping them not only to lose weight, but also to find the happiness and success that everybody deserves. We are worth it!

I know that surgery isn't going to fix everything overnight. It's up to me to follow the advice the doctors give me. It's up to me to create my own happiness. It is my decision whether I succeed or fail. This time, I'm not going to fail. I have a great support group. My husband, parents and friends back me 100%. The other patients of Dr. Vuong, though I haven't really got to know them yet, I'm sure they'll be wonderful support as well. 

This is a new chapter for me. This blog will serve to keep me accountable and hopefully help others going through a similar situation. I've been given the task of losing 10% of my body weight, or 35 pounds before I have surgery. Here I go!